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How to Watch Football
Okay, I think it is time for me to teach you how to be a football fan. Many people do not understand this. They are confused and think they are fans but they are delusional. There is a hierarchy for being a true fan. This does not leave room for team jumpers or those who are so-called fans of teams that are winning at the moment. Not fans.
Someone asked me the other day if I were a Dallas Cowboys fan. I said: What else would I be? I've lived here all my life and the team we like here is Dallas. It is our home team. I asked him if he went to high school. He said yes. I said: Did you root for some other high school team? Of course, he at this point became confused and the conversation was over.
To help you discover which team you should root for, I have set up the following hierarchy. Measure all the teams by this hierarchy. This applies to college and pro:
My favorite teams would be as follows:
Here is how my wife's teams should line up:
My daughters should follow the same teams I do plus #6 and excepting the Houston teams. Unfortunately, one of them is confused as is the fellow I spoke to above.
I hope I have cleared up all your confusion. You should use this list to write down your real favorite teams so that you will no longer be confused and eventually will become a real fan.